You know how it works these days you have to been seen to be working to climb that slippery pole that is known as the corporate ladder. However Mr & Mrs Blackberry take this to a new level and try and look busy in all social settings and situations – generally this will exasperated with close friends.

A great way to create the illusion you are constantly “pushing the envelope” is the owning a Blackberry – this truly gives the impression that the global company you are employed by could not survive without you. Generally Mr or Mrs Blackberry will be prone to bouts of staring directly at their Blackberry intently, with their eyes popping out of their head, tapping the keyboard like they have lost control of the movement of their thumbs (this sometime referred to as “Masterberrying“).

With friends this is taken to a new level – as Mr or Mrs Blackberry will secretly want their friends to think they are more successful than they are. In a bar for example – even at 8 in the evening – a quick session of the “Masterberrying” is used to show just how important you really are. This always needs to followed by a comment of “God do I need to do everything in that place” or “Those guys in Tokyo/London/New York/Paris have no idea” – which adds to impression that your reach is even more Global than their friends had originally believed. Generally this is referring to an email which was sent a week ago to their boss of which 26 people received the same mail – but it important to give the impressions that it was send directly to them to effectively “Troubleshoot” the issue.

The last trait that Mr or Mrs Blackberry has to have is a hand quicker than Clint Eastwood in any old western film. Mr or Mrs Blackberry at a blink of an eye are able to reach for the Blackberry – this can be witnessed in a number of situations – an example being in a lift or whilst waiting for someone in a public place. The Blackberry will be whipped out like John Wayne on fast forward, quick look at last weeks emails, annoyed look to give the impression that Donald Trump is querying yet again about the global economic outlook of the world financial market, place back in pocket (or holster if you live in North America). Repeat this at least 20 times every minute in any public setting.